Counting Browns Coaches

Best if sung to the tune of "Count Your Blessings (instead of sheep)" from White Christmas by Bing Crosby


When I look at the schedule and I can't sleep

I count former browns coaches instead of sheep

and I fall asleep counting former browns coaches

when the wins column shows only one

I think of when the Lions lost them all

and I fall asleep counting former browns coaches

Braylon thought it was a nursery when Romeo was its head

edwards cried to be traded, now our seasons dead

If your name is Lerner and you can't sleep

Just count former browns coaches instead of sheep

and you'll fall asleep counting former browns coaches

you know its got to have Mangini seeing red

watching Lewis tiptoe like he was in a tulip bed

If you're worried about our season and you can't sleep

Just count former browns coaches instead of sheep

and you'll fall asleep counting former browns coaches

Proper lyrics are here.

Lets feed the Christians(Browns) to the Lions!

The title is not so much a statement but a joke, and not so much a joke but a statement. As a joke, it's the eleventh week of the regular season, and to many Browns fans, it's a regular season. It's what we are used to. Losing. Losing is a disease, aah, but curable! (Okay, I'm channeling "The Natural", but with a point) and the point is, the team will win again. Just not now and that's what's unacceptable to the fans with a special thanks to our brilliant sportswriters who fan the flames of discontent no matter what happens. The Browns are going through a rebuilding process and I think we should realize this. More to the point, the entire organization is rebuilding, almost continually, before our eyes and we need to give it a chance. Al Lerner died in 2002, the Browns third year after being reborn. Randy Lerner was thrust into the spotlight as team owner and though it's been seven years, hasn't gotten it right yet. By comparison, the Rooney family has had the Steelers for 76 years. When somebody has an episode, a failure of health, a suspected heart attack, it's common to hear someone say "okay, everybody step back, give him some room, let him breathe!" then they loosen his clothing and let him relax. This team has had an episode and is trying to recover, there's still a pulse, a heartbeat. The team isn't just what we see on the field, it's like an army where for every 1 guy on the field there's ten providing support. Some of those ten should be us, the fans. Acting like a pack of wild dogs, the fans and media have pursued the Browns and nipped at their heels for every misstep they have taken. Sometimes I have to wonder who's side they're on. After watching the Lions lose to the Vikings this past weekend in something resembling style, and recalling the Browns taking the Bengals(who now lead the division) into overtime for a hard fought loss, should we really feed these christians to the lions, or support them even if they lose?

Braylon Edwards

On Braylon Edwards:

1. Everybody is human. Most people break the law in some way.
2. Sometimes people get angry and hit other people, been that way since the dawn of time
3. Drops passes. In the NFL, if you are a receiver, you can't drop consistently. You catch consistently. Period. Duh!

During the debacle that was Romeo Crennel's tenure, I stated that with better coaching, Edwards could catch the ball. I saw improvement when Eric Mangini came in. One of the tenets of a wide receiver (not Romeo catching a cheeseburger, Edwards) is to catch and run. Unfortunately, Braylon could not outrun his own stupidity. In the end, this was a good trade for both teams. To Braylon, all the best, have fun, break the law, punch people you know, be human. Just catch the damn ball!!!

P.S. To our knowledge, no coaches or wide receivers were actually hurt during this post, although we tried.