JFK Love Letters, Tiger Woods Tweets

Today JFK's love letters to one of his many mistresses came up for sale. Just a few months ago, Tiger Woods tweeted to many of his mistresses. These events got me thinking that maybe there's more than meets the eye here. I think if you're open minded about it there are some parallels between Tiger and JFK. If they somehow switched places both of them would have done what the other did. Maybe JFK didn't ring up as many notches on his putter as Tiger, but it wasn't for lack of trying.


Of interest:

• JFK was the 35th President of the United States
• Tiger was the 61st winner of the Masters
• JFK was the first and only (if I'm wrong tell me) Catholic President
• Tiger was the first non Caucasian to win the Masters
• They both met Bob Hope
• They both liked blonds (Elin and Marilyn)
• They both liked Swedish women (Elin and Gunilla)
• JFK was the youngest President
• Tiger was the youngest to win the Masters
• JFK was one of the most admired men in his daya
• Tiger was one of the most admired men in his day
• Both of their images were tarnished by revelations of their affairs
• JFK was run down by a Japanese destroyer (PT 109)
• Tiger was run down by a Swedish destroyer (Elin Nordegren)
• JFK was assassinated
• Tiger was assassinated (by the press)

I mean no disrespect. I remember the day JFK was assassinated (I was 3, the TV screen was round) and it was a sad day. I also remember when the news about Tiger came out. I'm sure that there's a Zapruder like video out there that will either clear up or further cloud Tigers story. Will we really ever know what truly transpired in Dallas? Will we really ever know what truly transpired in Windermere?

Tigerphone

All this technology. Phone Grandma in Korea while surfing the web and give her turn by turn driving instructions to Yellowstone(lying here). Everything at your fingertips. Space tourism. Probing Mars. Diving the Titanic. Climbing Everest is a tourist attraction. That guy working on a flying car. What I don't get is:

• Why can't I microwave food by pointing my cellphone at it and saying "cook"?
• Why can't I taze someone I don't like with my cellphone?
• Why isn't my cellphone also a retractable dog leash?
• Why isn't my cell phone a Swiss Army Knife?
• Wheres the laser pointer?
• It's not a passport?
• Boarding pass?
• Carve a pumpkin?
• Skin a deer?
• Change a tire?
• Open my house door?

I really don't care or want to skin a deer with my phone. What I really want to know, with all the money and technology and genius we have, why can't a cell phone cover Tigers tracks?

What, I'm Tiger Woods! I can't buy a cell phone and have somebody hack it so Elin sees my "normal" address book when she looks at it and I type, say, "wood" in and there are my 11 girlfriends? No brainer, right? This has cottage industry written all over it. " Sir, would you be interested, perhaps, in the "Tigerphone".(tm). "It's really two phones in one." The "home" phone and the "away" phone. It looks like any other phone! It's like truckers keeping two driving logs or accountants with two books. The Tigerphone(tm). Get "yours" today!