Open by Andre Agassi

I finished this book today. Let me begin by saying I received this book as a gift for Christmas(thank you Jen) but I don't remember the trigger point, the reason I asked for it. I do know that I don't fit the demographic for this book. I'm not an athlete, I don't care for tennis, watching or playing it. All the terms are foreign to me, yet I could not stop reading this book. I know a good story when I read it and this captivated me. Before reading Open, I knew the name Andre Agassi, had seen his image on TV but had no idea who he actually was as an athlete or human being, and couldn't have cared less. Thank you Andre, for being so Open, because now I know and care.

Tigerphone

All this technology. Phone Grandma in Korea while surfing the web and give her turn by turn driving instructions to Yellowstone(lying here). Everything at your fingertips. Space tourism. Probing Mars. Diving the Titanic. Climbing Everest is a tourist attraction. That guy working on a flying car. What I don't get is:

• Why can't I microwave food by pointing my cellphone at it and saying "cook"?
• Why can't I taze someone I don't like with my cellphone?
• Why isn't my cellphone also a retractable dog leash?
• Why isn't my cell phone a Swiss Army Knife?
• Wheres the laser pointer?
• It's not a passport?
• Boarding pass?
• Carve a pumpkin?
• Skin a deer?
• Change a tire?
• Open my house door?

I really don't care or want to skin a deer with my phone. What I really want to know, with all the money and technology and genius we have, why can't a cell phone cover Tigers tracks?

What, I'm Tiger Woods! I can't buy a cell phone and have somebody hack it so Elin sees my "normal" address book when she looks at it and I type, say, "wood" in and there are my 11 girlfriends? No brainer, right? This has cottage industry written all over it. " Sir, would you be interested, perhaps, in the "Tigerphone".(tm). "It's really two phones in one." The "home" phone and the "away" phone. It looks like any other phone! It's like truckers keeping two driving logs or accountants with two books. The Tigerphone(tm). Get "yours" today!

Golf is Not a Sport

After recent events, I have to say: "Golf is not a sport". I have golfed, not well, at all, ever. No point of authority here. I will say that most "sportsman", this term is loose, would have defended themselves in some fashion against an assault from a woman with a golf club. Obviously I'm talking about the Tiger Woods situation. My theory of the events:

• Erin(current wife) hits Tiger in the head with a golf club(nothing else was available, right)
  
• Tiger enters the car(and hides)
• Tiger drives at a low speed evading Erin
• Tiger mows over objects because his brain is scrambled
• Erin continues her justified rage, busting out the rear windows of the SUV (suggesting chase)
• Tigers rescued by the neighbors who called 911
  

Golf is not a sport scenario:

• Laurie(Brian's ex) attempts to hit Brian Urlacher in the head with anything.
• Brian takes the hit and shrugs it off
• Laurie remembers Brians Old Spice commercial and backs off
  
• Brian regales the neighbors with some football talk (supporting video below)
  

Golf may be more of an activity than a sport. Let's face it, tennis is sometimes questioned, but after Serena Williams recent tirade, I think she would have smacked that club aside and said "what you got, biatch?!".



I think we need to reassess our definitions of sports and activities and entertainment and at least realize when they blend and what the border is, no matter how soft or hard it may be. But in the end, for now, golf is not a sport!