Monday, February 22, 2010

Attention Walmart Shoppers!

Today, while I was eating Marys delicious chili in the kitchen, the stool I was sitting on made an ominous creak and seemed to settle. Now, I'm a big boy, going 222 at the scales and I got concerned about safety. Not mine, the stools. This stool is actually a replacement for a previous model that met a bitter end, also a my, ahem, hands. So I got off it and flipped it over to check the weight rating. 
Imagine my surprise when I saw its rated for only 200 pounds. I started to feel bad (don't want to kill again)  but then my sadness turned to anger as I realized where we bought this lovely piece of American kitsch: Walmart! That's right! Only Walmart, where the average shopper has to tip the scales at beyond 200 (do I hear 250? Going once...) pounds would they sell a stool designed for more lets say svelte people!
Maybe I don't understand the function of this device. Let me think: was it originally intended to only serve one "cheek"? Ah! Therefore, they should be sold in pairs, dontcha think? That would be 400 pounds of supporting power! I'm not going to buy another stool at this time, I'm just going to alter my way of sitting and let one cheek hang off and hope that extra 22 is over there. As proof of my earlier claims about my fellow Walmart shoppers, just check out people of Walmart.

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